Being an Actor During a Pandemic
Hello again… I am back to talk about my journey as an actor during a pandemic. Before anyone questions it, I am an actor. I am not an aspiring or soon to be actor or performer. I AM AN ACTOR, no ifs, ands or buts about that. When thinking about my acting journey, it brings up some harsh realities (remembering back to December 2019 when I was just so heartbroken because it was the year of no’s.)
2019 Year in Review Vlog… Cleary sad sad…
It’s always been a battle. But that is okay. For me, it’s worth the fight, it’s worth the challenge, and it makes the wins feel even better. The last full production I was in was MSU Denver’s production of Machinal in spring of 2019. I actually had a facebook memory advertising the show. It’s pretty wild that it has been 2 years since I have performed in a full stage production. Since April of 2019, I haven’t strayed away from the stage but my opportunities were definitely shifting. The school was not giving me much opportunity for mainstage productions and honestly no real answers of why I wasn’t getting cast. I just wasn’t. I wasn’t a part of the vision. I even remember getting feedback from a local director and it was my nerves that affected my breathing which led to me screwing up the audition and resulted in no callback and not getting cast. That’s okay, I freak out for auditions sometimes.
I remember my last in person audition, I forget what show it was for but the show got cancelled anyway due to miss Rona crashing the party. It was a busy day, I taught dance classes in the morning, changed into audition clothes at a rec center, rushed to my audition, then headed over to the final performance of Young Frankenstein which I had choreographed. During that show week, I had also submitted a taped audition because during that week is when COVID-19 cases were on the rise and beginning to cause concern. It was that audition that was going to provide me with one of my acting performances during the pandemic that I didn't see coming. I remember after submitting my self-tape I received a nice little, thanks but no thanks email.
So the pandemic hit. I was taking 17 credits for my theatre and dance degree so that’s pretty telling of the type of classes I was enrolled in. For those classes to move to zoom, it was a less than an ideal situation. But hey, quarantine, you do what you gotta do. I was adapting to a virtual theatre life from my bedroom. I got laid off which was upsetting but I decided I was going to take the time to focus on school and acting. So blessing in disguise, I guess? With my unemployment I decided to finally invest in a tripod, studio lights and a backdrop. These items turned into permanent fixtures in my living space. It was crowded but it worked. For some reason having these, along with my 4 year old camera made me feel empowered to create content and challenge the content I was already producing. If you’ve known me for a while, you know I create vlogs and videos here and there but with the set up, I had no excuse to not produce great self-tapes and more content. For a while there in quarantine, I was creating videos and content pretty regularly-so like once a week, ha! I was creating work and acting for myself and filling the void of wanting to perform things!
As things were progressively getting worse and performances were not happening for the foreseeable future, I really took the time to think introspectively if this is something I really wanted to do. Did I even want to continue to pursue acting and auditioning for shows and companies that were not diverse and continually casting the same people over and over? I surprisingly did want to continue to act but I really wanted to do it my own way. I wanted to apply myself to a personal journey in acting not a journey of trying to fit some mold. To help with this I enrolled in Actor Therapy, took lessons with professional actors, tuned into instagram live classes, and watched as many National Theatre performances as I could. I decided to continue my training in ways I have never been challenged before. I decided that I would take this time to yes, look for opportunities if they came about, but mostly focus on MYSELF and MY ACTING.
Not Just Anything, New Musical Festival 2020.
Like I said, that self-tape I sent in March 2020, it was a no go until I got a personal message on social media asking if I was interested in being a part of the production. I was truly surprised but also like, “see… Why didn’t you accept me in the first place?!” It’s kinda funny how that works out. I think during this time I was also making myself present, I was sharing things, interacting virtually, and most importantly beginning in about May of 2020, I spoke up for things that mattered to me. I think this is what really changed my mindset, I didn’t need to be something I wasn’t. Who am I? I am an actor. Either people will cast me as a part of their vision or not. I got to be a part of a new musical virtual reading and it was super cool. It was produced and organized so it didn’t feel like a fake performance. It meant something and even though the actors were not in the same room, we did have a connection which was cool. The only thing I truly despise about streamed virtual performances is the internet SUCKS. Maybe it was just my internet but I could not count on my internet if it was life or death. Currently, both the internet and zoom are the bane of my existence.
Virtual rehearsals have been the norm for me this past year and they honestly do not get easier. There is always a technical difficulty, I hate looking at myself on zoom, and I just hate zoom. I cannot wait for the day that I’m going to delete the zoom app from all my devices and NEVER look back. However, even though I am not a fan of virtual rehearsals, it does make a lot of sense to not always travel for rehearsal especially when it is a table read or character work. I have actually been quite impressed with the amount of things I have been able to accomplish virtually. It has helped, can’t deny that.
During this past year, I have realized that jobs suck and jobs will drop you at a moment’s notice. With that in mind, I think it’s important for me to put my acting first and my jobs second. I finally had the chance to say yes to acting opportunities and not care if there is some conflict with work. It usually works out in the end. For me, it has made me so happy that I get to say yes or randomly audition for projects because I don’t feel like I have to put a job first. That’s part of what was holding me back in 2019, because I was worried if I got cast, what would I do about my job or jobs? Would they understand? Most places won’t, but some places will. It has been important for me to find the places that understand because if I’m not doing the things I love, then what’s the point?
Acting during a pandemic has been weird. It’s been lonely but strangely strengthened my relationships with people in the theatre community. It has been isolating but also hopeful. It has been challenging but rewarding in ways I could have never imagined. Most importantly, it has challenged my view of theatre being full of butterflies and rainbows. There is so much work to be done in the theatre community to address racism, sexism, abuse, and toxic behavior. This past year taught me to hold my values close and not let theatre, productions or people define who I am.
I am Adriana and I am an actor.
